


Time for a Friendly Check in with Caleb

by OpheliaLMX



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Caleb and Beau are very dry in their humour, Does include canon Caleb darkness but it's not an angst fest, Friendship, Gen, Missing scene at the end of e55, Spoilers for Episode 55
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-11-18 10:30:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18119012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OpheliaLMX/pseuds/OpheliaLMX
Summary: The Mighty Nein are all bone-tired, and Caleb sets up camp for the evening.Beau mosies on over to check whether his mind has broken into pieces today or not.(The Majorest of Spoilers for episode 55)





	Time for a Friendly Check in with Caleb

**Author's Note:**

> Again, major spoilers for Episode 55.
> 
> Man, Beau dialogue is a delight to write. She picks and chooses her social graces gloriously.
> 
> Oh, also I'm on tumblr. ^^  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ophelialmx

Everyone in the Mighty Nein is unbelievably tired, the phrase ‘dead on their feet’ a little too close for comfort. They are in no fit state to go anywhere. If an orc were to, say, push Caleb into a mud puddle at this point – well, he might not get back up, whether it be from injury or sheer exhaustion. 

Thankfully, everyone is happy to sleep through the morning and put everything else off until later. The dome will be easily large enough to block the tunnel from intrusion, so any and all evidence will still be there in eight hours. Then, if they’re still tired, Caleb will just bring back the dome for eight more.

So, it’s time to focus. Caleb is still a little dizzy, but that’s okay; if he can jump up from bleeding to death and cast a spell on a creature from the Abyss, he can certainly set up camp. He measures in his head where will be the best position for the dome to both block off the tunnel and give them plenty of space to sleep, and methodically unwinds his silver thread around the outside of that space, quite certain nobody will be up for keeping watch tonight. 

Then, Caleb flips through his spell book to find the ritual he needs to create their dome. He doesn’t even glance up as Beauregard approaches.

“So, dome,” she says.

“Ja,” says Caleb. 

He selects the spot he wants to be the centre of the dome, and sits down with his spell book. Then realises Beauregard is standing there, and maybe the silence is awkward? Caleb is not good at judging that sort of thing. He is usually awkward. 

“Ah – so," he says helpfully. “I am going to begin the ritual now.”

“That was quite a fight,” says Beauregard. “Quite a… series of violent encounters.”

“Ja,” says Caleb again, slower this time. “You fought very admirably, Beauregard, at least from what I could see. Good fight.”

She doesn’t answer. Stares at him.

“Are you okay?” Caleb asks finally.

“What? Oh yeah. Yeah,” says Beauregard. “Just – had to punch the charm out of a good friend of mine, watch another one brought back from the dead. I’m good. Got these sweet gloves out of it.”

Another brief moment.

“Cool,” says Caleb finally. “Good talk, Beauregard, I am going to-“

“So, how are you doing? You know, mentally,” says Beau unexpectedly.

But Caleb is so used to her saying unexpected things that he has learned to expect it.

“I ah – I’m alright. Got a little closer to the veil than I would like, but then I think we all did.”

“Yeah,” says Beauregard. “Have you noticed that Caduceus is weirdly cool with the fact that he died?”

“Are we just having a chat?” asks Caleb. “I can not tell which of these topics is the one you are interested in talking with me about, and I would very much like to create a dome so we can sleep.”

“So, you tried to blow us all up with fire,” says Beauregard casually.

Caleb has to crane his neck to look quizzically up at her. That had certainly been intense, but it had also been quite some time ago.

“Ah, yes,” he says slowly, uncertainly. “Yes, but you know I thought that perhaps Yasha using us all as pincushions might have resolved that… area of concern. I did not have control of my thoughts.” That is probably insensitive, he realises, and adds, “For what it is worth I am sorry. It wasn’t – fun for me. The thought of hurting you all is upsetting. Not my finest moment.”

“It's okay. It was actually pretty dope,” says Beauregard. “You know, objectively.”

She seems to remember herself now, and sits down next to Caleb, resting her elbows on her knees.

“But I meant, like… Are you okay with it all?” she lowers her voice. “You threw some of your most powerful fire shit at people you care about.”

Caleb doesn’t answer.

“I mean, we’ve established that you do care about us.”

“Yes, I care about you Beauregard. I told you, I was not in my right mind.”

“So it doesn’t, you know, bring back memories? I just thought this might be the kind of situation that would usually make you go off. Into your head.”

She hesitates, then places her hand on the centre of his back, and Caleb feels uncomfortable and annoyed, but the grateful kind of uncomfortable and annoyed. Beau’s good at doing that. He looks over his shoulder at the group. They are mostly resting. Caduceus might be watching them with mild curiosity, or he could be staring through them. Either way, he seems fairly listless. Nott is lying on her back on the ground next to Jester.

“Just wanted to make sure you weren’t lost, is all,” says Beauregard.

Caleb remembers that his silence sometimes makes her defensive, which is stupid, but she’ll keep talking if he doesn’t reply.  
“I am just fine,” he says. “Peachy.”

“Oh – good,” says Beauregard, clearly unconvinced. “Because Nott and I were talking, and we were just worried it might be too close to home. Because you know." She leans in towards him, sort of conspiratorial. "Your parents.”

Caleb’s jaw clenches. He had thought about them, of course. He thinks about them all the time. He thinks about them every time fire erupts from his hands. Tries to think about them any time he finds himself doing something that could be considered ‘good’.

“That was a very different situation, Beauregard,” he says, a bit stiffly. “My thoughts were not my own today. In my heart of hearts I did not want to hurt you. And it all happened very quickly in any case.”

“Oh,” says Beauregard. “Cool. Good, I guess. I mean, you weren’t exactly in control of your thoughts back then either, but…”

Caleb pinches the bridge of his nose.  
“I can assure you I was.”

“Bull,” says Beauregard. “You were fucking messed up by some Cerberus Assembly shithead-”

“That is beside the point," Caleb interrupts in a whisper, gesturing for her to be quieter. "Today a demon had control of my thoughts and feelings, it is utterly different-”

“I just figured maybe you’d have a hard time being manipulated,” says Beauregard. “Just wanted to check in on that.”

Caleb feels the irritation running through his body. This has to be deliberate; how can this brilliant woman be so obtuse?  
“And between you and Nott, it was decided that you should talk with me about this,” he says in disbelief. "You."

Beauregard crosses her arms.  
“I’m just being a thoughtful fucking friend,” she says with an aggressive scowl.

Caleb doesn’t answer.

“Nott thought we should leave it and give you space, but it’s not like you would say anything about it if you were freaking out,” Beauregard says finally.

“Ja, that is probably true,” Caleb concedes. “But no, it is not the same, not even a little. You can tell Nott that I am quite fine in that regard.”

“You sure?”

“Quite sure.”

It’s not the full story, but Caleb doesn’t give full stories, and he’s also really tired.

Still, he taps on his book. She still thinks she’s right; Caleb doesn’t understand why people refuse to take him at his word. It's his life. She wasn't there, she doesn't know. Really, the logical thing is to leave it be. How does it benefit Caleb for Beauregard to understand a part of him that is so terribly ugly?

She goes to stand up, but he raises a hand.

“Beauregard, you are a thoughtful fucking friend,” says Caleb. “A good one. I ah – I appreciate you for thinking I am too good of a person to have made that kind of decision for myself. For thinking I could not have wanted or chosen to murder good people that I loved. You are definitely mistaken-”

Beauregard looks like she’s going to argue.

“- But I still appreciate you for thinking that,” Caleb pushes again.

“Caleb…”

“Please, Beauregard, accept this as a compromise because I am too tired to argue with you at this moment. As it is we will need to wake up half of the group to get them into the dome once it is complete.”

“That’s a shitty compromise,” says Beauregard.

Caleb groans inside, loud and long and frustrated and sore and so, so tired.

“But fine,” says Beauregard. “Agree to disagree for now.”

“That is not what I said at all,” Caleb moans under his breath.

Beauregard seems satisfied, possibly because she knows he isn’t – or maybe because she thinks he actually is? It’s hard to say.

“But you’re going to be okay?” she asks.

“I am fine, Beauregard, I just have these giant stab wounds in my chest and I need to sleep.”

“Great,” says Beauregard. Now she does stand up, and pats him on the shoulder and oh, that hurts, there is a wound there. Maybe it happened one of the times he was knocked out and nearly bled to death.

As she walks away, Caleb wonders if that went well. 

Ah, well, he’ll deal with it tomorrow, just like he’ll deal with what actually happened today, not to mention Nott’s insane meddling, tomorrow. At least for now, he is too tired for regrets. Beau is right about one thing though; she is a thoughtful fucking friend.


End file.
